Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL by theroyalus IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL by theroyalus
My response to some of the constant drama people experience when they neglect, ignore, suppress, demonize, hate, badmouth, bully, abuse, and attempt to exorcise or integrate their "alters."

If a friend told you that they're suicidal, you would help. You would listen. You would encourage them into therapy.

But if your "alter"- someone who shares an important and intimate connection with you- is suicidal, they get branded "the evil alter" and need to be gotten rid of.

Rethink this, please. I used to be "the evil alter." Now I'm recognized as a person, and respected for my contributions. Talk with your headmates. Show them respect. Befriend them. Great things might happen.

-Ronin Ellis
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkokoromiracle250:
KokoroMiracle250 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
My headmates have saved my life on multiple occassions
Reply
:iconangelinaxrose:
angelinaxrose Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2016
Love this cause its true!!!
Reply
:iconcharcoalman:
charcoalman Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
if you think you have headmates you need to see someone this shit is NOT natural.
Reply
:iconmianirainbowdash:
mianiRainbowdash Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Yes yes, while my friends mistreated me they were there... even though it's a pain sometimes, they've gotten me through stuff. They support me in anything, even though they may argue with each other at times or call me a dumbass. They've even considered letting me tell other people so I can get help. I'm not sure if I need to though, it has it's downs but also ups.
Reply
:iconsugarpunkdoe:
sugarpunkdoe Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2015
I feel like this message is really important.
I have a Tulpa, which is similar to an alter. He's a former self-harmer and from a really bad home situation, and deals with depression, anxiety, and PTSD from a house fire and basically watching his entire family die in front of him. As a result he has severe trust issues.
But last October when I met some new friends and got caught up in school testing, bands he didn't like, and other real life things, he began to believe that I was ignoring him and didn't love him anymore, so he "ran away". I've never been more sad/lonely in my life than during that October. He returned later in the month, but he'd relapsed into everything and it took him about six months to fully trust me again.
Moral of this story: If you have an alter, Tulpa, thoughtform, headmate, anything, especially one with existing trust issues, DO NOT IGNORE THEM.
Reply
:iconindigooftheheavens:
IndigoOfTheHeavens Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2015  Student General Artist
Love this especially the last half. I've had trouble with panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, and mental instability now and then (unrelated to them, more around emotionally tense relationship situations in outward life, as well as my chronic illness making it hard to live my life...) but they pull through for me again and again. If I want a break from fronting (since I'm the main fronter, its my life, and I'm the "main" you can say) Graltrez can step in and help. Iris is the body consciousness and is always there, little cheerful talkative one she is. <3 Laurina and Nastrith have fronted at times but Graltrez has proven himself time and time again to be my bulwark and stalwart ally and VERY good at what he does. He gets the job done and doesn't dither as much about things that may be causing me to panic or get emotionally hurt by. He's more unruffled by such things, and checks things off a to-do list and makes sure everything's running well in this life. He just hates socializing so I or Iris have to step in for that lol.

Recently he's been an AMAZING stalwart ally in this mess with my illness and helping me manage it better. One time when I was panicking a bit since I was emotionally messed up and mentally a bit too from the downward spiral of my energy and health in a couple hours (rapid yes I know) that so characterizes the beginning of an energy crash, I was debating whether to wake up mom by pushing a button she gave me for such a situation, if I've gotten too bad a crash and cannot move or text for help. Since I didn't think I was that bad I was debating whether waking her up was "fair" or not of me to do, but Graltrez just took one look at my emotional state, tried to convince me to do it and then when I dithered more, just took over and pushed the button and then went back to letting me front and calming me from within the mindspace. Mom came in and that helped a LOT, but if it hadn't been for Graltrez I wouldn't have pushed the button and probably would've done some harm to myself. *sighs* He's so sane and cool-headed and logical and has a very firm stance on needing to do what is necessary if it protects the physical/emotional/mental health. He's my backbone these past few weeks as I've been having trouble with a friend who is also a multiple, who couldn't deal with what I needed to do to set healthful limits on the relationship. I would've torn myself to bits emotionally over the stress but Graltrez keeps being cool and level-headed to a "T" and giving me that solidity and strength I need to learn lol.

I've been talking more about what he's doing for me to help me in my life, along with my boyfriend Raven, and mind-healer and all-around awesome guy Thespas, and twin Azzy, and my therapist and my mom when they heard about what Gra did that night, actually said out loud "Thank you Graltrez! <3" pretty enthusiastically lol. ;;; They're too used to me trying to hide my problems to "not be a burden/problem" for other people, so anyone that gets me to admit to having troubles and to actually reach out for help instead of suffering in silence, they like that person a lot. :)

Anyways rambled more than I probably should've lol but just wanted to share to someone who seems very supportive and in a welcoming environment. <3
Reply
:iconle-niqqa-2000:
LE-NIQQA-2000 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Professional Photographer
you are fucking batshit insane
Reply
:iconvamp666raven:
vamp666raven Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Lately, they feel like more trouble than their worth, but this has renewed my hope and respect for them. They saved my mind, after all. Mm Happy 
Reply
:iconarynchris:
ArynChris Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
I should keep this handy. For the most part, those I've come out to don't even believe me. But those who do (or maybe just "might") get confused about whether my problems are actually caused by someone else in here. In fact, I used to be confused myself. True facts? My headmates are no more evil than I am, and more than once have been the only people around to step in and end a bad situation or to push me into doing something that I was too shy to do on my own.
Reply
:iconvamp666raven:
vamp666raven Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

I suppose I'm an "alter." *dislikes that term*

One "alter" self-harms, another has an eating disorder, and I'm suicidal... So things can get a bit complicated... In fact, for a long period of time, one would cut my host if she didn't do what she asked or did something she didn't like... But we've all learned that we have to compromise. Our host has a bit of a temper, although she's very sweet, and my girlfriend (another "alter") has a temper even worse... So you can imagine the chaos. I pride myself in saying that I'm the reason things have calmed down a bit and they actually listen to one another now.

We've learned to live with DID, and, every so often, we might even enjoy each other's company. We've all gotten quite close, and frankly, I don't think any of us could live without the other. ^-^

Reply
:iconlb-lee:
LB-Lee Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Professional General Artist
Naturally I would agree! Ignoring people's needs rarely ends well.

--Miranda
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
If this was Facebook, I would totally "thumbs up" this. ;)
Reply
:iconartanas42:
artanas42 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
I fully support this. they're people, if not loosely defined as such. treat them as such, and they'll take you far. me and mine, we're very close (Get it? ha!) and i can't really imagine life without em.
Reply
:iconplures:
Plures Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012   Interface Designer
This is fantastic! We faved this, of course.

~Kerry
Reply
:icona-being-of-fable:
A-Being-Of-Fable Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2012
HERE HERE! One of my girls (Tirndil) prevented me from committing suicide once. Raoul is taking pounds off this body and making me healthier with his bike-riding. Mr. E introduced me to some of the best friends we've ever had. In short, Alters do not equate with evil. As a matter of fact, I love all of mine to death (in a friendly context). - Shay
Reply
:iconsarusaru-san:
Sarusaru-san Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012
um...hello, my name is Ghost, and my sister Destiny thinks that we could possibly be "alters" and i was curious to ask, what exactly is one?

(Destiny is trying to figure out what's wrong with Big Sister Christen's head, and so i wanted to help a bit)
Reply
:iconblack-myth:
Black-Myth Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
Thank you for sharing this Ronin Ellis, you really are right :)
We have to remind ourselves exactly this at times.

- Gwynn
Reply
:iconthehoodedangel:
TheHoodedAngel Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2011
It's good to hear that others think that I'm not an "evil" alter. I self harm, am depressed, but I'm also one of the "nicer" ones inside of our host! I'M NOT EVIL!
~Scratches
Reply
:iconxpainwithoutlovex:
xPainWithoutLovex Featured By Owner May 9, 2011  Hobbyist
What are alters? o.o
Reply
:icontheroyalus:
theroyalus Featured By Owner May 10, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
"Alter" is the currently accepted term for "alternate personality," as in Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder). [link]

It's a fairly controversial word among multiples themselves. It's considered an offensive slur by many multiples who consider themselves non-pathological (either not from origins of trauma, or having resolved their issues but still multiple).

-Ronin
Reply
:iconxpainwithoutlovex:
xPainWithoutLovex Featured By Owner May 11, 2011  Hobbyist
Ohhh. Okay, that's what I thought but, I had never heard the term before ^^'
Reply
:iconliaen-fable:
Liaen-Fable Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011
Some of my alters are abusive, but we all get along pretty well (mostly) Two DO self injure and one has an eating disorder so things get very hard at times, but we're like a family.
Reply
:icontheroyalus:
theroyalus Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
Awesome. Keep supporting each other, things will get better.
-Ronin
Reply
:iconfaquille:
Faquille Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
"Engage and reckless and constructive art". Hahaha.

Great work!
Reply
:iconlawenta:
Lawenta Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. The deviation itself is incredibly well written and it made me smile, but it was the description I needed to hear. Thank you for this healthy kick in the butt :) I'll remember it.
Reply
:iconjsplollypop:
jsplollypop Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Yeah, one of the headmates here doesn't want to acknowledge that the 'evil' alter might be a good person. And she(said 'evil' one)'s convinced herself of that, which doesn't help our reasoning with her...
Reply
:iconwebbererikphan:
WebberErikPhan Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2011
AMEN! for I am an 'evil "alter"' as well, & all I desire is love!!

(Hill)Erik



I'm seen as the 'evil "alter"' to outsiders, despite the fact I run things here and do what's best for our system; at least my system and I know I am doing the best I can..!

(Webber)Erik
Reply
:iconcuroburo:
curoburo Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks.
I've been more or less locking them behind doors since I'm scared of them....thanks again. This means a lot....
Reply
:icontheroyalus:
theroyalus Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
Take things slow... remember to build trust on both sides. It takes a lot of adjustments to get on good terms with everyone. -Nathan
Reply
:icondarknessunderthemoon:
:tighthug: I love you! Why you might ask because your smart for saying this.
Thank you.

~Uri
Reply
:iconexperimentalex:
Experimentalex Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011
This is so true. We do have one who really seems intent on hurting us, but we don't brand him evil. We just try to show him that there are nice things to do too. :)

Stay Strong~
Reply
:iconnatakuxeden:
NatakuXeden Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for this. I'll be linking a good many people to it - it's so simple, so true. Again, thank you, this is simply wonderful!
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

Featured in Collections


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
January 16, 2011
Image Size
64.8 KB
Resolution
504×364
Link
Thumb
Embed

Stats

Views
1,745 (3 today)
Favourites
86 (who?)
Comments
32
Downloads
13

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License.
×