If a friend told you that they're suicidal, you would help. You would listen. You would encourage them into therapy.
But if your "alter"- someone who shares an important and intimate connection with you- is suicidal, they get branded "the evil alter" and need to be gotten rid of.
Rethink this, please. I used to be "the evil alter." Now I'm recognized as a person, and respected for my contributions. Talk with your headmates. Show them respect. Befriend them. Great things might happen.
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I have a Tulpa, which is similar to an alter. He's a former self-harmer and from a really bad home situation, and deals with depression, anxiety, and PTSD from a house fire and basically watching his entire family die in front of him. As a result he has severe trust issues.
But last October when I met some new friends and got caught up in school testing, bands he didn't like, and other real life things, he began to believe that I was ignoring him and didn't love him anymore, so he "ran away". I've never been more sad/lonely in my life than during that October. He returned later in the month, but he'd relapsed into everything and it took him about six months to fully trust me again.
Moral of this story: If you have an alter, Tulpa, thoughtform, headmate, anything, especially one with existing trust issues, DO NOT IGNORE THEM.
Recently he's been an AMAZING stalwart ally in this mess with my illness and helping me manage it better. One time when I was panicking a bit since I was emotionally messed up and mentally a bit too from the downward spiral of my energy and health in a couple hours (rapid yes I know) that so characterizes the beginning of an energy crash, I was debating whether to wake up mom by pushing a button she gave me for such a situation, if I've gotten too bad a crash and cannot move or text for help. Since I didn't think I was that bad I was debating whether waking her up was "fair" or not of me to do, but Graltrez just took one look at my emotional state, tried to convince me to do it and then when I dithered more, just took over and pushed the button and then went back to letting me front and calming me from within the mindspace. Mom came in and that helped a LOT, but if it hadn't been for Graltrez I wouldn't have pushed the button and probably would've done some harm to myself. *sighs* He's so sane and cool-headed and logical and has a very firm stance on needing to do what is necessary if it protects the physical/emotional/mental health. He's my backbone these past few weeks as I've been having trouble with a friend who is also a multiple, who couldn't deal with what I needed to do to set healthful limits on the relationship. I would've torn myself to bits emotionally over the stress but Graltrez keeps being cool and level-headed to a "T" and giving me that solidity and strength I need to learn lol.
I've been talking more about what he's doing for me to help me in my life, along with my boyfriend Raven, and mind-healer and all-around awesome guy Thespas, and twin Azzy, and my therapist and my mom when they heard about what Gra did that night, actually said out loud "Thank you Graltrez! <3" pretty enthusiastically lol. ;;; They're too used to me trying to hide my problems to "not be a burden/problem" for other people, so anyone that gets me to admit to having troubles and to actually reach out for help instead of suffering in silence, they like that person a lot.
Anyways rambled more than I probably should've lol but just wanted to share to someone who seems very supportive and in a welcoming environment. <3
I suppose I'm an "alter." *dislikes that term*
One "alter" self-harms, another has an eating disorder, and I'm suicidal... So things can get a bit complicated... In fact, for a long period of time, one would cut my host if she didn't do what she asked or did something she didn't like... But we've all learned that we have to compromise. Our host has a bit of a temper, although she's very sweet, and my girlfriend (another "alter") has a temper even worse... So you can imagine the chaos. I pride myself in saying that I'm the reason things have calmed down a bit and they actually listen to one another now.
We've learned to live with DID, and, every so often, we might even enjoy each other's company. We've all gotten quite close, and frankly, I don't think any of us could live without the other. ^-^
(Destiny is trying to figure out what's wrong with Big Sister Christen's head, and so i wanted to help a bit)
We have to remind ourselves exactly this at times.
It's a fairly controversial word among multiples themselves. It's considered an offensive slur by many multiples who consider themselves non-pathological (either not from origins of trauma, or having resolved their issues but still multiple).
I'm seen as the 'evil "alter"' to outsiders, despite the fact I run things here and do what's best for our system; at least my system and I know I am doing the best I can..!
I've been more or less locking them behind doors since I'm scared of them....thanks again. This means a lot....